A southern girl in the Pacific Northwest

Sick and going to bed. I had to miss going to Matthew’s concert tonight and I’m missing out on going with everyone on the brew bus tomorrow. All of this makes me want to cry. My wonderful Valentine’s weekend is turning into sickfest. I am SO disappointed. I can’t even tell you.

I left work early, which was good not just for coming home and taking a nap, but also because one of the partners was in FINE FORM today. He made a comment about my dress which them made me horrifically self-conscious (compounded by not feeling good anyway) and then a bit later he told us this terrible story about their 3 Irish Setters and their hunting instinct which I won’t repeat, and then later, right before I left, I heard him saying some dumb stuff about how dangerous pit bulls are. Give me a freaking break.

I have no patience for that kind of nonsense. And from a person who purports to know something about dogs. This is not his usual way, I don’t know what was up with him today, but between him and yen’s drunken shrill screeching and our office manager’s divergent opinions (depending on who she’s talking to!) on the subject of the teacher strike, I could not take another minute and finally just left.

Today has just felt like one disappointment after another, and that’s exactly the opposite of how I wanted today (and every day) to go. At least I didn’t have any obnoxious couples angst, which for me feels like a personal victory. I even tried out some triggery thoughts and nothing clicked. Don’t care what G is doing; not upset in the least to be on my own, absolutely am not bitter or feeling like a failure. I’m just pissed that I can’t breathe or swallow.

So here’s to tomorrow and having more patience, feeling better.

Last night I met Shanon for dinner at a Thai place, and then we went back to my house to hang out for a while and catch up. It was nice spending time with her. Stripey spent the whole time she was there in her lap, and Henry! Henry let Shanon pet her – indeed, walked right up to her and accepted head scritches! It was an astonishing moment, but I’m happy she’s feeling more and more confident. It was her 6 month Adoptiversary on the 11th. I think she’ll only get more and more outgoing as time goes on.

I wish I had anything interesting to entertaining to say, but my head is filled with cotton. I absolutely could go to sleep right now. If only I could.


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