A southern girl in the Pacific Northwest

Just kidding. Now she’s coming.

It’s a good thing my sister is not here in my physical presence or I would throttle her.

Last night the last I heard was that the tickets would have to be changed, because she simply was not coming for spring break, but she could come over the summer, that it was a done deal and the decision was made. I didn’t think that was feasible for a whole lot of reasons, and I was infuriated that it was being left to me to “fix.”

But dutifully I got up this morning and started trying to fix it. My sister slept in until 1:30(!!!!!!!!!!) her time, and so wasn’t able to talk to me on the phone to get something figured out. I managed to get her husband on the phone and explain to him that I agreed the kid should have a consequence for not keeping up her grades, but that my losing $600 wasn’t a good consequence, and anyway, it’s not just nothing for me to schedule off a whole week of work. I answer to 2 attorneys and 1 partner, not to mention a court schedule, not to mention the other staff who have to cover for me, and who are also trying to schedule their own time off. I suggested that if she did come, she could a) bring her school books for some enforced studying time, and b) do some “community service” volunteering to see up close and personal what it means to be a slacker junior high school drop out. He thought that was a good idea, but asked if I could talk to the airline too and see what options there are. He was driving (for 6 more hours!) and so asked me to share whatever I learned with my sister.

After spending quite a lot of time on the phone with the airline, I learned that we can cancel the ticket and the funds are “held” and she can use them within a year. I dutifully relayed that info to my sister this and she went bonkers, texting me in a all capital letters and exclamation points to… are you ready for this? To settle down and quit trying to change things and that everything is fine, and that the kid is coming because she talked to her husband and he said it was fine. Oh, and thanks for talking to him behind her back. (What!)

… (rage)
… (head explodes)
… (teeth grinding commences)

I told her I was glad Aria is coming and not to text or call me again until I got back in touch with her.

Honest to god, I’m not doing this again. Not with any of them. My sister is a maniac. My mother emailed me her unsolicited opinion that my sister is totally in the right and that I am “taking it too personally and being selfish” and that it’s their prerogative to discipline her as they see fit. (rage rage rage rage)

Were it not for my niece I would have nothing to do with them anymore. As it is, huge heavy immovable boundaries have been leveraged back into place. I will never allow myself to be embroiled in my sister’s bullshit again. I let it wreck my day yesterday, I have let it consume my ENTIRE weekend, and I WILL NOT allow her this power over me again. Just because she goes down the fucking rabbit hole doesn’t mean I have to go with her. The next time she loses her head, I am simply not going to respond. Delete.

I feel like a terrible person because I don’t want anything to do with this mess anymore. My enthusiasm is so dampened right now that I don’t even care. Aria flunked science because she simply did not do the final three assignments. Why? She didn’t feel it was “pertinent to her life.” When she knew the trip was dependent upon her grades. What the hell? Does she not actually want to come? I’m breaking my neck over here and she doesn’t actually give a shit? Or is this just teenage smart mouth? How do you ever know what the truth is?

My enthusiasm will come back, but right now, I am exhausted and frustrated.

And what is wrong with this child?? Who in the world just doesn’t do homework assignments? A kid who doesn’t have any inkling that actually doing things matters. A kid who doesn’t somehow have any concept of what it takes to actually get things accomplished, or even any sense that there’s something to work FOR. She’s not a bad kid. But she is a kid who doesn’t know and doesn’t care. I don’t even know where to begin with that. I don’t actually have any control or influence here.

I continue to be frustrated and upset.

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