Today is not a good day. I have been actively battling anxiety pretty much all day and I can’t put my finger on the cause. In spite of actually weeping in my office this morning, I have resisted taking ativan because it only lasts 8 hours. Although at this point I could take it and it would still be working enough so that I could go to sleep. The only relief has come in the form of some time with my beagle buddy, Bodie. I took him home with me for lunch and to meet the cats because I think I’m watching him for a few days while his family (one of the attorneys here) goes on vacation. Stripey was very relaxed about it. Henry poofed up and stood in “Halloween cat” pose and stared daggers. Bodie seemed terrified and laid on his belly and then crawled under the kitchen table. Sooo, it didn’t go that well, but it was great having Bodie in the car and going for a neighborhood walk. He’s really a charming little friend.
The thing about anxiety is that it’s just irrational. Nothing BAD has happened at all. There’s no REASON to be feeling like this. Money is my usual Big Trigger, but that’s not it this time. I organized my office to cook for one of the legal assistants who is undergoing chemo, I organized our Nueve de Mayo party on Friday, I accomplished my projects and got two newsletter articles assigned to me – which I’ve been informed will have my own name on them going forward (usually I ghostwrite for one of the attorneys). My produce box arrived – I mean, this is all good stuff. No reason to be melting down and feeling awful.
My produce box arrived today – huzzah. I opened it and… it’s just all thrown in there. The asparagus wasn’t banded together or anything – it’s just a heap of veggies! I was a little surprised by that. I mean, it doesn’t make the food less edible, it was just a surprise to find it all mixed up willy-nilly.
I’m going to be doing a book share post tonight after my writing group, so if you’re in the mood for YA, you’re in luck.
Finally, in what can only be characterized as making my mood EVEN WORSE: I just got a text from Griffin letting me know he’s moving in with his girlfriend “for the summer.” Thanks. Thank you. No really, thank you. I’m on pins waiting for your fucking engagement announcement next.
*snarly snarly snarly* I hate myself for caring.