I have been idly wondering if Penny Dreadful might be worth looking into, and then I saw this description of the show in a comment in the tumblr_refuge community (are any of y’all in that community? It’s really good. Multi-fandom discussions and everyone is nice and super welcoming. There are some pretty intense intellectual discussions and also plenty of hand flapping and squeeing. tanyareed, there are a ton of Due Southies over there.)
Anyway, the description: “Intense supernatural psychosexual drama riding the edge of horror. Plus, the hot werewolf guy got topped by Dorian Grey, and the woman is a dommy mad-eyed bitch who’s into bloodplay.”
So I’ll probably pass on that after all.
I’ve been having complicated thoughts and emotions (uh, we’re switching gears dramatically here from tv talk) about HENRY. I don’t love her like I love Stripey. I love her. I would not want to part with her. But … she is so different from them, and I’ve started to be a little bit afraid that when he goes I’m just going to be annoyed. Well, ok, I know that’s not true. But I don’t think I’ll cling to her the way I clung to him after Boo crossed the RB. I know she’s only been with us for a year, and Stripey just celebrated his 17th(!!!), so I’ve had much longer time to be completely at one with him, but there are personality differences which just glare. Maybe the edges will smooth as she ages, but I fear she’ll never shake off the trauma of the streets and the orphanage.
Don’t get me wrong. She is cuddly. She is a wee furry purrer and she has much delightful personality. But she is also constantly trying to assert her dominance over Stripey. She is jealous of any and all time I spend with him. She guards me and tries to prevent him from being around me. She wants my attention all the time.
I get it. Or I think I do, anyway, but these are Stripey’s final years and I am having a hard time satisfying her. I never wanted and still do not want Stripey to feel replaced by the new cute thing. Stripey treats me like his person; she treats me like someone to pull the string and feed her. It’s not the same connection. Maybe that will change. Maybe it was a mistake to get another cat and thereby ensure my attentions would be divided. My timing was terrible, but grief makes people do dumb stuff.
Also, this is day ?? of the higher dose Wellbutrin and I feel good. Hand tremors have subsided significantly, ditto the peripheral vision stuff. Dry skin, mouth and eyes persist, but no nausea. I suddenly don’t need nearly as much sleep as I did before (always a solid 8 before, and now it’s about 6). I feel like the world is shinier now. And, the most dramatic and wonderful thing, I realized this morning, is that I have HOPE again. Good lord, I didn’t realize I’d lost it. Another interesting and unexpected side effect: zero appetite. I realized at 3:30 today that I hadn’t eaten at all yet today. Weird. But ok.
Actually you know what I think it might be: I’m spending less money, eating less, sleeping less … I don’t really feel like there is a hole inside me that needs filling anymore, and those things were fillers! Now that I have energy and inspiration again, I’m hopeful I can actually achieve some of the goals I have set for myself.